god help me

Damn another crazy day!!! Why me,, whoa is me…more like it…

Scoff, if you like BUT this is what happened.

I am minding , my own freaking business, fishing off the end of the peer,where the Thunderboat comes in { note* I am sure the Hokey Pokey has a nice peer too but it’s too far for me..} anyway….I am casting away.. thinking about that big fish I’m going to catch and Minding my OWN business.. not a care in world.. I am EATING fish tonight for sure.. if you catch my fisherman’s drift.
I look up and Wham… there coming down the peer was a whole freaking HERD of “”mennintights” I am wondering, is this dangerous.. could I be shanghaied by a wayward group of piratical Mennintights. I am thinking Ten years before the mast, here, Mutiny on the bounty, Captain Blye, Moby dick.. the whole ball of wax.. never to be seen again.. the headline { Mysterious disappearance of local fisherman , only the rod left behind} I am shocked to say the least…
Then it happens.. one looks down at me and sort .of stares.. so figuring I have got ,to say something.. I say…” Hi , my names Paul , Fritz Hows they hanging there’
He looks at me with distain and says.. “dumbkoph Englander, mienen namen is Man Fred”
So I say.. ‘Okay Man.. then Fred it is and bye the way.. do you feel a wee draft?”
He screams at me “DUMKOPH!!! Minen namen ist MANFRED nicht FRED”
So I say. ‘well pardon me, Fred but it’s kinda obvious that you are aLL MEN if you know what I mean”
Now the guy goes from red to purple.. kinda nice with the colour of the outfit but weird nonetheless. He screams at one of his buddies HERMANN “ getten zie ober herein und explainen to dis Englander mien nammen ist MANFRED”
So the guy walks over.. I want to be polite and all so I wash the fish guts off my hands and reach out to shake and say “hello Mr Herr nice to meet you.” Now I must say.. this guy is a little calmer… he smiles, shakes my hand and pulls out 14 inches of Kielbasa, where he had it I don’t know but anyway.. he offers me a slice which I politely decline and says “ Englander meinen nommen ist HERMANN, nicht Herr.” Now for some strange reason I am thinking bikini lines and wax and other horrible thoughts.. [ funny how the mind works] anyway I say” OHHH I get it your name is HERRMAN as in Hermann Munster, wow.. any relation? “ he says “nein, who??”

So I look over his shoulder and there are a couple more from the herd who have come over.. he says “ und dis ist my bruders.. Weemann and Scrotumann” I can’t help but notice weeman is a midget.. but I have had enough of midgets lately but I am thinking.. I wonder if he got a discount on the bathing suit.
So I turn and say.. “well that wasn’t so hard was it Fred… just a little mixup my apologies…”
He says.. “DU BIST TOTE” now I move quickly to the end of the peer, what to do?? I Don’t know exactly what tote is.. but dead it sounds like to me, and I move slowly towards the back of the peer… and slowly he turns, step by step, and I am screaming NIAGARA FALLS!!! NIAGARA FALLS !!
And from somewhere he gets a couple pounds of banana’s and says “ Englander du bist einin swinen” and I’m thinkin’ has he looked in the mirror lately.. and he is hurling the bananas at me like Roger Clemons on steroids.
Well Just then I hear a whistle.. and this old dude with a long white beard yells.. ‘TAKIN YER PLACES GENOWEN!! DE BIRTHDAYEN BATHDEN CONTESTEN IS GESTAREN”

Now it makes sense…..this is a menentights bathing beauty contest go figure……
So I resumed fishing , back towards the water and watched the show….
More to follow

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