ya know, I am flying home [ belize] shortly and called the BLASTED airline to enquire about luggage.
I patiently explained that I wanted to bring as luggage a 24 foot extension ladder. GAWD you might as well said a case of rattle snakes… shuffled from one department to another… after 45 minutes on the phone [ on hold] they finally answered me….
apparently they are racist as well.. they wanted to know where the ladder was made.. I gave up and just told the girl it was made in Aluminum.
She said “thank you” and put me back on hold…
They then asked me why I needed to take a ladder on the plane? I patiently told them that the ladder was to get a nest of leprechauns out of a tree in belize so I could sleep at night without hearing celtic thunder and non stop giggling and the sound of coins being jingled.. [ little b@stards.. more on that later]
Then she says!! what are leprechauns???? I said “are you freaking crazy??’
everybody knows what Leprechauns are’
she says “sorry sir I don’t”
So I said ” they are the meanest little b@stards there are, they steal gold and look like the frito bandito only in green and they smoke pipes and play really dirty pranks on people”
she said ” oh, and where are these lepriccans [ jayses] “
So I said “BELIZE!!! LIKE I HAVE BEEN TELLING YOU FOR AN HOUR.. I NEED THE LADDER TO GO AND ROOT OUT THE NEST!!!!’
then she lets me have it “NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” I CAN’T BRING THE LADDER!!’
I then go to my fallback position and say.. ‘what about carry on?’
she hung up… gawd, now what am I going to do?
Airlines SUCK!!!

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